Hello July

So, I finished work yesterday. Really, it was last Friday and I've been doing 'paperwork' for the last three days which consisted of sleeping late, running errands, lunching with Ann and the occasional stop by the office to sign my name to something. Can I just tell you how much fun it is to not go to work everyday? Don't get me wrong, I love what I do the majority of the time. Yeah, we all get a little whiney and have a bad day and curse the thought of ever deciding to go to medical school, but most days I am happy with my choice and realize how lucky I am to be in the field I'm in. On the other hand, not working is totally awesome. It's just that there are some things that I hadn't realized happen when you stay home with a munchkin that I've learned quite quickly just over these past few days.

First of all, being a housewife or stay at home mom is actually pretty busy when there are kids involved. Will may sleep in til the late hour of 6:45am or he might sleep til 9:00am, prompting you to sneak into his room and make sure he's still breathing. You never know so it's not like you can stay up late watching a movie with the hubby and say, 'oh, I'll just sleep in tomorrow.' Maybe, maybe not. Also, when you're married, there's a new wacky trend to share a bedroom with your significant other. You know, the one who gets up every morning at 5:45 to get ready for work in the same room you're sleeping in. You'd never say anything about the lights on and off, windows shades opening letting in the 'glorious' sunlight and doors opening and closing because you know he's 'trying' to be quiet and going to bring home the bacon so that you don't have to. But sometimes you think, 'huh, this sucks that I'm awake at the buttcrack of dawn so maybe if I slept on the pullout this wouldn't happen.' Then you remember how much you love your big comfy bed and snuggling the man at night and how much closer your bed is to the bathroom when compared to the pullout and decide that maybe you can deal...for now.

Along with erratic bedtimes, there's the ever fluctuating mood and energy level that children are famous for. Who knows if he'll be in a pouty mood or a sunshine happy mood or a tired mood because he didn't get enough sleep, but refuses to nap. Or my favorite, the 'I got 12 hours of sleep and now nothing short of a straight jacket can control this kind of crazy' mood. When you spend ALL DAY with a child who's constantly running on full steam, laughing like a crazy person at everything, spazzing out at every store you go to because 'the aisles are just so long!', and screaming 'I love samples' upon entering Sams Club, it's hard not to run the other direction when your spouse gets home so you can have some peace and quiet. Your hubby will then act surprised that you aren't up to going to soccer or BMX or playing outside because he doesn't know how physically and mentally exhausted you are from your daylong adventure...every single day. I honestly don't know how people who teach kids all day long can go home to their kids and still have the energy or brain power to have a fulfilling family life. These people must be superhuman.

When you stay home, you also become the maid. I know, I know. This should not be a shocker. The chores you were normally splitting after work and taking precious minutes away from time you could be spending with your family or eachother, can now be done during the day so you can both chill out at night. That makes sense and all, but it still sucks. Nobody LIKES to clean everyday. Even if its laundry one day, sweep and mop the floors the next, vacuum the floors and couches after that. It still sucks that it's all your job now and you start to think that dealing with drug seekers and sick kids may actually be easier than staying at home.

I also have a new found understanding of why stay at home parents meet their spouses at the door and word vomit instantly upon their arrival. They've been talking to a kid all day. Now the good thing about chilling with your offspring 24/7 is that you really get to know them and they tell you all kinds of things that you probably wouldn't have heard otherwise. The majority of your convo's revolve around tech decks and flick trix or 'remember when we went to Florida...that was fun.' The school yard banter is sweet and all, but sometimes leaves you dreaming of a discussion about why Mrs. X's kidney function is all of a sudden in the crapper. (Will will one day kill me for posting this, but I still giggle everytime I think about it.) One priceless chat went a little like this:

We're having a bath the other day and talking about how tall Will is getting and he's like, 'I'm growing so much my bones hurt, especially when they get all stiff.'

To which I reply, 'yeah, sometimes you can have a little pain when your arms and legs are growing quickly.'

He says (completely straight faced), 'no mama, not my arms and legs. When the bone in my junk gets all stiff, it sticks out straight and won't lay down. I don't like it.'

First off, this is when you realize multiple things: A) you should quit using the work 'junk' to describe the goods and maybe go with a more anatomically appropriate label, B) you're never allowed to laugh when you're kid talks about his 'junk' or he looks at you with the saddest little 'I-thought-we-were-bonding-and-now-you're-mocking-me' look, and C) he's growing into a little man which makes you sad at first and then paranoid at the fact that all these precocious little 7 year old girls keep asking to come over for a 'play date.' I'm not trying to be a grandma before I'm 40...or 50.

Along with joining the housekeepers union, when you don't work outside the home, you also become the chief errand runner...aka everyones bitch. We need groceries, the car needs an oil change, the car needs a new parking sticker, we need to mail this package, the kid needs new socks, etc. All the things that used to get done after work or fit in between clinics or surgeries or on lunch hours or a random day off are now your job while you're sitting at home doing 'nothing' all day. Do you mind? No, because really what else is going to give you an excuse to take a break from cleaning all day, right? Between the chores and cleaning and keeping the boy entertained all day, there's nothing very relaxing about being a stay at home mom. Especially when you're growing a person who plans on coming into the world in 7 weeks or so and, thus, makes sleeping or finding a remotely comfortable daytime position completely impossible.

Enough crying in my cinnamon life about how busy I am. I am staying home for the next few months and I am happy about it. I just have a new respect for stay at home parents because it's not all daytime TV and bonbons. It's a freaking full time job and you should not feel guilty about spending your working spouses hard earned dollars because you're earning your share all day long, too. God (and John) knows there are no guilty shopping feelings here.